Away
by chenology345
Summary: As Finnick prepares for a trip shortly after the Nighthowler case, he reminisces about his highs and lows of his relationship with Nick and how it came to be one of his most important ones.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** I know Little Moments is still in progress, but I randomly came up with the idea for this story and I absolutely loved it. I had to just start writing it right away! I had so much fun writing this story and I really hope you guys enjoy!

 ** _Italics_ = Finnick's thoughts **

**Summary:** As Finnick prepares for a trip shortly after the Nighthowler case, he reminisces about his highs and lows of his relationship with Nick and how it came to be one of his most important ones.

Finnick drove his van to the cheapest gas station in Tundra District. The tan fox parked his van and had a short breather, leaning his head against the steering wheel.

 _You're doing this. No going back._

He let out a sigh, opened the door and jumped onto the ground, a perfect landing.

Most gas stations had the courtesy to provide gas pumps at different heights to accommodate for the great diversity of each species' height. Unfortunately this was not the case here, which might partly explain the reason for its cheap prices. And of course the gas pump was way beyond his reach, but no matter, he was used to these types of situations. He got on all fours, jumped and kicked against his van, allowing the impact to push him towards the nozzle and grab it.

He dropped down with the nozzle in his left paw, and then jumped up once again to open up the door to the fuel tank and stick the nozzle inside. After a 10 second break, he jumped up once again, to press the handle of the nozzle, and stick up the latch to keep the handle pressed.

Following his hard work, the gas was finally filling up his tank. Sweating a little, he took several deep breaths, his tongue sticking out of his muzzle. He leaned his back against the van, staring at the price increasing on the meter. His mind started to wander, remembering the events that led to this moment.

* * *

 **7 YEARS AGO**

"Mr. Big?" Finnick said quietly.

"Ahh…Finnick, my son." Mr. Big replied.

Finnick entered the room, careful not to make any sudden movements. It had an elegant air to it, lavished with the finest furnitures and curtains. Finnick could tell it was not just designed to look beautiful though. Each piece of furniture seemed to point towards the desk, where Mr. Big was, indicating the most important figure in the room. Mr. Big was sitting on his comfortable, tiny chair, which might as well be a throne, with his intimidating "royal" polar bear guards standing by him, ready to attack any mammal who dares to come near him. All in all, this seemed like a typical meeting, except for one thing.

There was a stranger that he had never seen before, a red fox about 2-3 times taller than him. He had an interesting get up, an untucked, tan dress shirt with wheat patterned throughout it and dark, baggy brown slacks. His hideous outfit made him stand out, but there was something else about him that Finnick felt drawn to. His face. His face…it had a smirk that exuded confidence with a fair amount of arrogance. It gave off the impression that he was sly, fearless, and maybe a little stupid. This was new. Very new. No mammal ever had that face in front of Mr. Big, one of the most feared crime bosses in Zootopia.

"Finnick, I would like you to help me welcome the newest addition to our family, Mr. Nick Wilde. He will be your new partner."

Finnick walked up to Nick and put out his paw for a handshake, "It's a pleasure Mr. Wilde."

Nick looked at him and smiled, "Mr. Big, you sure run a tight ship around here, look at this little guy, being such a gentleman to me."

A strain passed through the left side of Finnick's head. He felt his temper simmering in his stomach.

However, he loosened up once he heard Mr. Big laugh and said, "I like this guy! He is what do you call it, ehhh he's funny! He's a funny guy! What a joy to have you here Mr. Wilde."

Nick put his left paw on his stomach and bowed, "The pleasure is all mine."

Mr. Big turned to face Finnick and said, "Finnick, Nick will be your partner when you make deliveries. I would like you to give him a proper tour and introduction. Treat him like he was your own brother.."

"Right, of course sir. Please, come with me Mr. Wilde."

Finnick headed out the door nearest Mr. Big's desk with Nick close behind, grinning.

As they walked down the hallway, Nick said, "Sooo….are you like his tiny butler…or what?"

Finnick could feel the anger boil inside him again and took a deep breath, "No Mr. Wilde, I'm one of his…deliveryfox. I help him deliver parcels and packages that require more discretion.

"So basically drugs and weapons?"

Finnick shrugged, "That's the stuff."

"Huh, that seems easy enough. I mean if a small guy like you can do it, I probably can too right? Especially with the two of us working together."

The "small" comment hit a nerve. He couldn't keep the rage inside him anymore.

"You think it's fucking easy? You fucking dumbass, you don't know anything. Our lives will constantly be in danger. And no I'm not talking about the fuzz looking for mammals like us. No fuck that, they can't do shit compared to some of the guys out there. Scary guys some of them. Many deliverymammals have gone missing or have been found dead, just delivering a package to someone. You always have to be on your fucking guard. So stop saying fucking stupid shit or else I'm going to bust a cap on your ass, got that?"

Finnick struggled to catch his breath, his anger slowly subsiding, and his cheeks getting redder as he realized what he just did.

"Shit…" he whispered. He looked up at Nick and all he saw was that stupid grin.

Nick crouched down to Finnick's eye level and said, "Now that's the Finnick I want to see. Now let's get on to the rest of the tour, shall we?" Nick walked forward, his red bushy tail brushing against Finnick's right side.

Finnick felt his cheeks warming up even more and let out a snarl.

"Right, let's carry on."

* * *

 **PRESENT**

Finnick couldn't help but smile remembering the first time he met Nick.

"Not much has changed huh?" he said, "He's still the arrogant douche I met to this day."

Finnick's left ear sprung up when he heard the gas nozzle click, indicating it was done pumping gas into his van. He bent his knees and jumped as high as he could, grabbing the gas pump and pulling it out of the gas tank. He took a deep breath and made another jump to put the nozzle back where it belonged. Now that this gas-pumping cardio workout was done, it was now time to check the air pressure of his tires.

He drove to the air pump just a few yards away and parked right next to it. He then grabbed the air pump and started filling up his tires. As he completed this menial task, he continued to remember these past events.

* * *

 **2 YEARS AGO**

"Can't believe it's been 5 years since we became partners, ol' chap," Nick said.

"Ol' chap? When did you start talking like a fucking prick?" Finnick teased.

The two foxes were at their favorite bar, The Vulpines. It was a typical dive bar, cheap drinks, okay food, a decent jukebox, but there was one thing that really set it apart from all the other ones. It was one of the few places where foxes could feel safe.

Nick and Finnick had just finished a delivery and decided to stop for a beer before heading back to Mr. Big's.

"Ah come on Finnick, you going to be like that?" Nick whined playfully, "Work is done, we have ice cold beers, and it's our fifth year of being partners! You gotta be a little celebratory!" He raised up his bottle.

Finnick relented and gave him a smirk as he raised his own clinked their bottles and downed their beer.

"Ahhh! There's nothing like an ice cold beer!" Nick said satisfied.

"There really isn't." Finnick agreed, smiling for the first time today.

"Oh? Finnick not being grumpy? That's a first, better post this on Muzzlebook."

"The fuck is Muzzlebook?" Finnick said, already frowning.

"Oh it's this cool social media experience that all the hip youth are doing now. Of course me being cool and hip, I gotta get on this.

"Ugh, fuck off and let me enjoy my beer."

Nick grinned at him, then faced the rack full of liquors and spirits behind the bartender. Finnick noticed Nick wasn't smiling, and instead seemed to be deep in thought, as if he had something important to tell. It wasn't until Nick started twirling his bottle by its neck that Finnick decided to ask.

"Something wrong?" Finnick asked. "You're going to put out someone's eye if you keep doing that."

Nick snorted before he admitted, "You know, I've been thinking Finnick."

"This can't be good."

"Heh, you're funny. Anyways, as I was saying, I don't think…I don't think I wanna work for Mr. Big anymore."

Finnick's eyes widened. His jaw dropped.

"Dude, don't fucking mess with me like that."

"No, it's true. I'm sick of it. I want to do my own thing you know? Do my own scams. I don't want to do this delivery shit forever. It sucks."

"It's Mr. Fucking Big, you don't mess with him. He has connections all over the city."

Nick waved his paw dismissively, "Yeah yeah I know, but I know everybody in Zootopia."

Finnick pointed at Nick, "Dude cut that shit, you can't be serious about this."

Nick swatted away Finnick's paw, "No Finnick, I am. I don't want to do this anymore. I know we're foxes and we get tons of shit but... I think we deserve better."

Finnick tilted his head, "We?"

"Yeah...I want you to quit with me."

"Now why the fuck would I do that?"

"Because we're partners. Think of all the scams we can do together. What could be better than that?"

"Dude, you're out of your mind."

"Wait until I tell you what I did to Mr. Big."

Finnick's eyes widened even more, "Oh Christ, what did you do?"

"I gave him a rug."

"Okay?"

Nick said, stressing every syllable, "Made from a skunk's…..butt.

Finnick stared at him, his muzzle agape.

Nick continued, "I dont think he kn-"

Finnick interrupted, "Dude! The fuck? Why would you do that?"

"Like I said, I don't want to work with him anymore. Think about it, if you're part of his family, why has he only relegated you to being a deliveryfox for 8 years? Have you ever wondered about that?"

"The hell is wrong with you? Mr. Big has supported me, supported you, supported us for years! Without him, we would be living out on the streets, begging for money!"

"No, I don't think so anymore. We're foxes Finnick. We're smart, we're cunning, we're survivors, we can make it on our own. The past 5 years, I've come to trust you and…I think you've come to trust me. I have a whole list of scams we can do. And I'm sure if we put our brains together we can think of many more. We'll make lots of money, $200 per day! That's way more than Mr. Big will ever pay us. Sure we'll be out on the streets, but... don't you want that freedom? Or do you always want to be cowering under his influence?

Finnick's dismay turned into rage, "Did you just fucking call me a coward?"

Nick crossed his arms, "You'll be a coward if you stay with him."

Finnick's eyebrows furrowed, "We're done."

"What? Finnick!"

Finnick laid some money on the bartop and jumped off his stool.

Nick shouted, "Dude the fuck Finnick? We've been partners for 5 years! You can't just leave me like this!"

Finnick turned around and swung his arm down in anger, "You're the one leaving us for your own crazy plan! You're leaving the family that has taken care of you for years and you never had one ounce of gratitude for everything they've done for you!"

Nick took a deep breath, calming himself down.

Nick then said, "You're wrong, they just need us to do their dirty work. The dirty work that no other mammal wants to don't care about you. They don't care about me. His late mother making us a cannoli like one time in the past 5 years I've been here? That was just a way for them to trick us into thinking that we're a part of their family. But whoopsies, we're not. Think about it, we never get invited to their banquets or dinners, we're always conveniently out doing a delivery. Is that how you treat a family? No, that's how you treat a fucking servant. We're not a part of their family, but…."

Nick started rubbing his left elbow with his other paw, a little embarrassed, "I think we're a family Finnick. That's why I want you to come with me. We can do great things together. We can be free together."

Finnick looked at him intently, his heart warming up to the idea of running away with Nick. The idea of just being with Nick alone was enough to make his tail wag. He felt his legs grow weaker the longer he stood there.

With the little resolve he had left, he shakily yelled, "You're wrong! You're fucking wrong!

Finnick stormed out of the bar.

 **1 HOUR LATER**

Mr. Big said, "Thank you for a job well done my son. Your hard work won't go unnoticed. You may now leave."

Finnick bowed slightly and headed out the door, the polar bear guard closing the door behind him.

With Nick's words in his mind, he didn't go down the hallway like he usually would. He froze outside the door, staring at it.

 _It can't hurt to listen in, just to prove to myself that fucking idiot is insane._

He rested his big right ear against the door and listened in for any conversation.

"Sir, Finnick has been working for us for 8 long years, I'm surprised you haven't promoted him from a deliveryfox. He's been good to us," a polar bear guard said.

"Huh, Finnick? He's not going up anywhere," Mr. Big said.

"I apologize for my insubordination but may I ask why? He's a good worker."

"He's a fox, I don't care for them. They're no good for nothing except for making deliveries and cleanup. Now please, enough of these incessant questions."

"Sorry sir."

Finnick felt his heart beating fast, and a knot forming in his stomach. He scurried down the hallway, feeling like vomiting and tears forming in his eyes

"Nick was right, absolutely right. Mr. Big didn't care about me. They never did. They only see me as a worker, someone who can do the dangerous work nobody wanted to do. I was expendable."

He thought about his family, it has been a long time since he last thought about them. They were a happy family, he and his parents. He remembered the picnics they had, the long car rides, and of course the drug-pushing. As a young kit, Finnick was mostly unaware of his parents' involvement in gangs and drug dealing. All he knew was that he was fortunate enough to have both parents who loved him and were present. That only lasted until he was ten.

One night his parents told him that they were going to go out for a little bit, but they will be back in 30 minutes and that he was to go to sleep. Of course, the sweet young kit he was, he was worried for his parents and stayed up. He stayed up all night. They never came back.

Rumors had it that they were murdered from a drug bust gone wrong or they skipped town to escape from a rival gang. It didn't matter to Finnick at this point. They're gone and never coming back.

Since then, he has ached for a surrogate family, but he now knew he would never find one here. But he could find one with Nick. No, he already found one with Nick. Five years being partners with him, he found himself having some emotional attachment to him. He wanted to be with him. He couldn't imagine himself anywhere else but being side by side with him.

He had to leave and find Nick. Hoping Nick was still at the bar, he grabbed the few things he had from his room, hurried to their delivery van, and sped to the bar.

 **20 MINUTES LATER**

Finnick slammed open the door to the bar, and there was Nick on the barstool, with a bottle of beer on his left paw, grinning at him.

"So you finally came around, haven't you?"

Finnick snarled, then uttered, "You were right, fuck you were right."

Finnick walked to the empty barstool next to Nick, and ordered a bottle of beer from the bartender.

He felt a paw wrapped around his left shoulder.

"Don't worry Finnick, fuck Mr. Big. We're going to do great things from then on."

Finnick felt a chill going down his spine, but also a certain warmth in his heart. The anger he had dissipated, and to his surprise, he was happy.

Finnick couldn't help but smile for the second time today.

"That's the Finnick I like to see!" Nick exclaimed. "Bartender! I need another beer for my ol' chap here!"

"My name is Skye," the annoyed cream-colored bartender said as she bent down to grab a bottle of beer.

Finnick playfully pushed Nick away, "Dude, you're such an embarrassment."

Nick shouted, "Sorry dude! Just excited that I'm gonna have my main fox as my partner in crime!"

He then whispered to Finnick, "So, I'm guessing you stole the van right?"

"Of course, that van is fucking mine."

"Perfect, we just gotta do something about the Big's Delivery logo on it."

"Don't worry, I got the perfect idea for it."

* * *

 **PRESENT**

Finnick looked up at the fox warrior and his befallen madam that he painted on his van years ago. He made a rectangle with his paws and centered it at the warrior's head.

"Yup! Still looks good!" he beamed.

He then double checked all his tires to make sure that he put enough air in them. Afterwards, he went into the gas station store to buy some snacks. There always has to be snacks for a long road trip.

As he looked for his favorite Roaritos chips, he noticed a young elephant crouching down, peering into a nearby shelf full of nuts.

"Dad! Dad!" the young elephant cried.

An adult elephant stomped his way towards son.

"Yes Junior?" he asked patiently.

"I can't find my favorite peanuts!"

The father maneuvered his trunk, coiling it around the bag of peanuts on the top of the shelf.

"You mean this one?"

"That's the one! You're the best dad!"

The praise for his dad earned the kid several pats on the head with his trunk, to which the kid started giggling.

Witnessing this adorable father and son interaction, it brought him back to a time involving a certain elephant onesie.

* * *

 **16 MONTHS AGO**

Nick held up the elephant suit, with his head poking out behind it, displaying a flashy, wide grin.

"Come on Finnick! I need you to wear this for our scam!"

"Dude fuck no, I'm not wearing that shit!"

"Don't you want our scam to be successful though?" Nick reasoned.

"Yeah! But there's plenty of other scams we can do! Why do we have to do this one?" Finnick argued.

"Because we need fresh, new ideas and this scam is fresh and new!"

"Can't we come up with fresh, new ideas not involving me wearing that fucking costume?"

"But you'll look so cute!"

Finnick gritted his teeth, "What did you say?"

Nick said shakily, "You'll look so cute?"

Finnick stared at Nick with such fiery eyes that made Nick feel much smaller than him. After five tense seconds, he pulled Nick down with his tie down to his face level.

"Don't. Fucking. Call. Me. Cute."

Finnick released the tie, causing Nick to fall down to the ground.

Finnick grabbed a cigarette and lighter from his pocket and said, "I'll be in the van."

He walked away from Nick, not bothering to look back at Nick's worried and terrified expression.

He got onto the driver's seat and stuck the cigarette in his muzzle. He lit it and let himself relax as he took in its sinful contents. A cloud of smoke came out of his muzzle as he let out a heavy sigh.

He had a rough childhood, with the incessant bullying that he got as a kit at school. He was called many things, but cute, tiny, and weak were their favorite insults to call him. As he grew older, he got stronger, so no one really dared to call him weak, and he learned to work around being short, so being called tiny did not bother him as much. However, being called cute absolutely killed him inside. He had worked hard to be different from the kit he used to be and to move past from the painful childhood memories that terrorized his mind. However, that word alone was enough to bring it all back and make him feel like the fox he has become meant nothing. That all mammals who see him will just see some cute, widdle, baby fox who needed to be taken care of. He could still feel the fire flowing through his veins just from that innocent comment.

His ears shot up when he heard Nick get into the passenger's seat, still holding onto the elephant suit.

"You going to try to convince me to wear that fucking suit?" Finnick snarled.

"No, not really. I just wanted to talk," Nick said, his tone more somber.

Ignoring the change in his tone, Finnick mumbled, "This should be fucking good."

Nick laid aside the suit and clamped his paws together and let out a heavy breath.

Finally Nick said, "Okay, how should I start this." Nick paused for a few seconds before restarting, "Okay so when I was hmmmm let's say 10 years old? I wanted to join the Ranger Scouts so badly, I thought they had the coolest uniforms. And everyone who was a scout seemed so cool. To be a part of that pack would've been amazing."

"Where are you going with this?

Nick looked at him coolly, "I'm getting there. Anyways, my mom saved up enough money to get me one of those ranger scout uniforms. I was so excited to join a troop. Of course I was the only fox, but that didn't matter. All the bullying, all the name-calling, all the "shifty" comments will be gone once I become a scout, right? Wrong."

Nick started staring at his paws, seemingly unable to continue.

Finnick shifted uncomfortably on his seat, unsure what was going to come next from the red fox. He gazed at how Nick twiddled his thumb uncontrollably, as if the what he had to say next was an insurmountable challenge for him. Finnick's ears started to droop as he saw the pain in Nick's eyes and how difficult it was for him to relive these memories.

 _He's willing to share with me one of his most painful memories, just to show he's sorry. What a guy._

Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Finnick said, "Look, I understand what you're trying to don't have to say anymore."

Nick looked at him, a guilty look in his eyes, "No I want to, I know you probably went through some horrible stuff as a kit because what fox hasn't, and I just want to let you know that I ca-"

"Just don't. You have your shit, I have mine."

Nick smiled at him and uttered a thanks.

Seeing that genuine smile of appreciation, Finnick felt his heart twisting and turning for reasons he wasn't entirely sure of. And just like that, the utter humiliation of wearing that elephant suit didn't seem to bother him as much anymore.

"I can wear the elephant suit…" Finnick blurted out before he could stop himself.

Finnick felt himself being picked up immediately and squeezed against Nick's body.

"Yes! Yes Yes!" Nick yelled. "You won't regret it Finnick! This is going to be our best scam yet!"

* * *

 **PRESENT**

Finnick walked out the store, having just paid for his Cool Ranch Roaritos.

He chuckled reminiscing all the scams they did with his elephant suit. At first, Finnick felt incredibly uncomfortable wearing this elephant suit. Over time though, he saw it as a way to overcome the pain of being called "cute." In a sense, it felt like he was taking back the insult, and reusing it as a way for his own benefit. It felt empowering.

Some of the scams were successful like the missing doll and the lost in the park scams. Some not so successful like the missing child on a milk carton scam. Nevertheless, no matter their success, they were having fun and they were happy, and that was what was most important to them. Thinking of the scams reminded him of the amount of careful planning that went into them.

They used to live in the van together, making a bed in the back of the van with an old mattress they found at a dump and several pillows and blankets they bought at a Goodwill store. Their bed was where all the magic happened, with Nick coming up with the bulk of the plan and Finnick doing the editing. They often stayed up late into the night planning out their next scam.

During those times, they would often digress into other topics. Finnick learned a lot about Nick, including his tragic family life: mom died from sickness and dad died in jail. In return, Finnick shared with Nick about his own family life. Finnick could feel their friendship deepening. However, Nick never ended up sharing that ranger scout story with Finnick. It didn't bother Finnick though, they were allowed to have their own secrets.

As he leaned against his van, lighting up a cigarette, he remembered one particular conversation.

* * *

 **6 MONTHS AGO**

"So we're all good on the plan tomorrow?" Nick said as he took off his shirt in the back of the van.

At the driver's seat, facing the notes that he scribbled down, Finnick replied, "Yeah, whatever. I got this."

Finnick placed his notes at the passenger's seat and jumped onto the bed. He sat down criss-cross, turned to Nick and raised an eyebrow.

"Why is your shirt off?"

"It's a hot night, I don't want to be sweating all over my fur, shirt, and covers."

He turned to him and asked, "It won't be weird, right?"

Finnick shrugged, "Whatever, do what you want."

Nick laid his head onto the pillow, his paws underneath his head.

Finnick curled up on his side, his ears relaxed, about to fall into a deep slumber.

His ears shot up, when Nick suddenly asked, "Do you believe we had past lives Finnick?

Finnick blinked several times, trying to bring his mind back to reality, "What? Past lives?"

"Yeah, do you believe in it?"

"Not particularly, why? Do you?"

"I don't know, but do you ever feel that sometimes you were a shitty mammal in the past, and that's why you became a fox?"

"Dude no, what? Why would you think that?"

"Well lots of reasons, I mean, there's a reason we have to do these scams to survive. There's not much out there for us."

Finnick stayed silent, letting that truth sink into him. The idea of him being something more than what society thought of foxes seemed inconceivable to him. He knew very few foxes that managed to become well-respected within Zootopia, maybe one fox politician out of many or that one fox teacher out of many. Yet, despite their success, those one of the fews still had to tread carefully within those ranks, making sure not to commit any action that may support the stereotypes surrounding foxes.

Finnick said, "But to think we were born this way because we were shitty in the past? Come on, I don't know, I just focus on the present and try to make the best of it. I mean you're having fun with all these scams right?"

Nick didn't reply.

"Nick?"

"Yeah...yeah, I guess so... You know what, I'm just thinking too much."

"That's a first."

"You're an asshole Finnick," Nick said with a smug.

Nick sat up and started crawling towards the back door, "I think I just need a smoke, wanna join?"

Finnick yawned, "I think I'm gonna sleep."

"Suit yourself, good night Finnick."

"Good night Nick."

Finnick must've been asleep for about 15 minutes when he heard the back door open.

" _Fuck my large ears and their sensitive hearing."_

Sure enough, Finnick heard Nick whispered, "Shit, was that too loud?" as he got into the van.

 _No fucking shit that was._

Finnick, now falling out of sleep, was about to yell at Nick, when suddenly Nick tripped over the covers.

"Whoa!" Nick cried out as he tried to regain his footing. His efforts were futile and he ended up falling on all fours. His knees and arms were by Finnick's sides and his muzzle right on top of Finnick's, just inches away.

Both pairs of eyes stared at each other wide open, finding themselves frozen in their little predicament.

Finnick could see the panicked expression on Nick's muzzle, and smell the embarassment coming off Nick.

Finnick wasn't doing much better. He could feel his heart beating twice as fast and his cheeks warming up. His mind was at a blank, unsure what to do. That's when he heard his heart, urging him to kiss Nick repeatedly.

 _Just a few inches Finnick. Then you can fulfill the wish you've had in your heart for all these years._

Following his heart, Finnick was about to raise his head when his mind came back to be and regained control.

 _Wait, why am I telling myself to kiss Nick? The fuck, wait what? The fuck?_

Coming back to his senses, Finnick said, "You know, you can fucking get off me."

As if Finnick's voice brought him back to reality, Nick sneered and said, "What? You don't like being this close to me?"

"Get. The. Fuck. Off."

"Fine...fine...but before I do."

Nick moved his head forward and quickly planted a quick kiss on Finnick's forehead, just like he would sometimes do during their scams involving the elephant suit.

Finnick found himself red as a tomato from the shock before rage filled him.

After a flurry of blows to Nick's arm, Nick laid on his side of the bed, trying not to cry from the pain while Finnick laid on his side, feeling good, but also very confused.

 **1 HOUR LATER**

While Nick was peacefully snoring, Finnick was still wide awake, his mind replaying what transpired an hour ago over and over again.

Finnick sat straight up, looking to his left, and got a full view of Nick's upper body and his muzzle slightly open, letting out quiet snores.

Finnick never noticed it before, but he saw how fit Nick was. Nick's arms were flexed towards his body, showing hints of developed biceps and triceps. As Nick's chest moved up and down, Finnick took note of his squared, strong pecs. His eyes traveled down to Nick's stomach, or lack of. Nick's mostly vegetarian diet allowed him to stay lean, his abs almost showing through his fur.

 _Nick is quite an attractive male fox._

His eyes widened almost immediately when that thought popped into his mind.

 _Why am I thinking about these things?_

His mind searched for the answer, and what came up were just more memories of their past. All the scams they did in the past, many of them embarrassing for Finnick, dressing up in various costumes like a maid, nurse, and recently this elephant suit.

 _Why am I willing to do all these things for Nick?_

That was when he realized.

 _Am I….am I in love with him?_

Finnick clasped his paws onto his muzzle to prevent himself from screaming in horror.

 _Being in love with Nick? That's….that's impossible. Fucking impossible. Nick is annoying. He's a dumbass. He's a jerk!_

Yet, all those times he spent with other vixens and dogs, he never fell in love with them. Sure they were attractive, but in the end, they ended up annoying him to the point that he wanted to snap their necks.

Nick though...he was different. He was smart, knowing all the ins and outs of the city. He was creative, being able to come up with many ways to trick the ordinary Zootopian citizen. He was funny, being able to make Finnick laugh with his dry humor. He was kind (when he wanted to be), able to make Finnick feel better when he was feeling down. He could spend forever with him. And that's because he's Nick Wilde.

 _Oh shit, all this time, I've been in love with him._

…..

 _What do I do now? Do I tell him?_

Finnick felt his body about to lean over to Nick to wake him up when he sat straight back up again, and mentally yelled at himself for almost doing an incredibly dumb thing.

 _Shit! What's wrong with you! Oh right I'm in love with him._

He planted a paw on his forehead in frustration.

 _God, what am I going to do?_

The idea of confessing floated over his mind again and he started imagining what would happen if he did.

Nick returns his feelings. They kiss. They have some fun in bed tonight. They start going out to nice (fox-friendly) restaurants. They have a wild night that they won't remember together. They watch shitty movies together. They have some fun while a shitty movie is playing. They become engaged. They get married. They buy a house together. They adopt some kits. They retire. They live the rest of their lives happily ever after.

A big, goofy grin formed on his muzzle. It felt wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. It felt like a vision of their future, like it was meant to be.

Except it wasn't. Finnick's mind formed a roadblock to the future and instead steered it towards another a path. A path where Nick gets weirded out by him, feels uncomfortable around him, and ends up leaving him. Finnick will be abandoned again, and have no family once again.

 _No…no...I can never tell him. No fucking way._

* * *

 **PRESENT**

Finnick blew out a puff of smoke. The smell of smoke and gasoline hung in the air, creating a tingly sensation for his sensitive nose. He felt his stress slowly evaporating out of him as the poisons diffused throughout his body.

He remembered how confusing and devastating it was for him to realize he was in love with Nick. He didn't expect to feel this way about the annoying fox who he first met in Mr. Big's office. Over time though, he grew to accept his feelings and found himself enjoying his time with Nick more. The time they spent together became some of the best moments of his adult life.

Even after all this time, he never confessed his feelings to Nick. The fear of Nick leaving him was simply too great. If staying together meant just staying friends with him, it was worth it for him. However, in the end, it didn't really mattered anyways. All because of the bunny cop.

Thinking about her, he angrily threw his cigarette to the ground and punched the pillar by the gas tank.

Sharp pain traveled up his arm and he grunted in frustration. He sat down by the pillar and waited for his arm to stop hurting. Memories of Judy started to flood his mind as he rubbed his arm in pain.

* * *

 **4 MONTHS AGO**

Finnick sat at the driver's seat, half-listening to Nick as he raved on about his Night Howler adventure with Judy at the passenger seat.

Nick said, "And we were stuck in the cell, with nowhere to hide, and the timberwolf guards just seconds away from finding us. I thought we were fucking done for. But you know what happened?"

Finnick said dryly, "What."

Nick said, "Carrots thought we should flush ourselves down the toilet! I thought she was crazy, but she just pulled me in and down we went! And shit, it actually worked! We ended up in some lake and I managed to come out of the water first. And then you know what happened?

"What," Finnick said with the exact same tone.

"Carrots wasn't coming out of the water. I was so scared, I thought she somehow drowned! I screamed out her name like three times, and I was ready to dive down to find her. But she finally bursted out, telling me she still has the evidence! We managed to swim our way to shore, get a Zuuber to the police station, and Mayor Lionheart and that badger were arrested! Ahh man, what an adventure!"

Finnick said, "That sounds great, glad you had fun."

Nick said, "Dude! It wasn't just fun, it was...fulfilling."

That's when Finnick's ears perked up in surprise, "Fulfilling?"

Nick said, "Yeah...this was the first time, I wasn't just a fox…you know? I wasn't just some shifty fox trying to get a quick one out of mammals' wallets. I was something more, I was a police officer.

Finnick, slightly hurt, growled, "Well nice to know that you got to be a police officer instead of a fox today."

Nick smiled and wrapped his left arm around Finnick's neck, "Nah don't worry pal, there's no way I'm going to be a police officer. All I got to do is show up to her press conference and then we're done with her. Then we can go back to pulling off scams until the day we die."

Finnick said, "Yeah fucking right, I'm just about this much away," he holds up two fingers just millimeters away from each other", from going crazy from all your stupidity."

Nick said, "You know you love me."

Finnick's heart skipped a beat before he said, "Fuck off."

 _You have no fucking idea._

 **1 DAY LATER**

"What a fucking dumbass," Nick yelled. "Did she spend her whole life with her head in the ground? Announcing that all those predators went savage because of their biology? What kind of close-minded bitch is she?"

Nick and Finnick were at the bridge, one of Nick's favorite spots, leaning against the the side of it and having a smoke.

"Wow... can't believe she actually said that," Finnick replied.

"I know right? Like who...who in their right mind would think that's okay to say? What outdated books did she read all her life? Fucking specieist.

Nick sighed.

Finnick said, "Dude, I get why you're upset but...this isn't much different from a lot of the prey that we face. She was just more outspoken and public about it. Why are you this mad at her?"

Nick flinched. His shoulders rested and he used his right arm to reach for something in his pocket. He got a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to Finnick.

Finnick uncrumpled the paper and saw a completed police officer application with Nick's name on it. He felt hurt. He felt betrayed. He felt angry. If Nick had the chance, he was going to abandon him to become a police officer.

Finnick angrily said, "The fuck Nick, you were applying to be a police officer?"

"I don't know! I guess? I'm sorry! But right before she made that speech, she gave me this, and… well...it was the first time someone believed that I could be more than just a shifty fox. A fucking bunny believed in me! Well I thought she did. It doesn't matter now."

Finnick's anger quickly subsided as he saw the sadness in Nick's eyes. Finnick knew what it felt like to be considered scum. He didn't know, however, what it felt like to be raised up so high to be considered a candidate for one of Zootopia's finest, just to be considered a savage right after. It was a horrible emotional roller coaster that Nick had to go through and he couldn't help but feel sorry.

Finnick reached out his paw and placed it on Nick's, in an attempt to comfort him.

Nick glanced at Finnick for a few seconds before he looked away and retracted his paw away from Finnick.

"I'm going to go for a walk, I'll be back," Nick said curtly.

Nick walked off, leaving behind a worried Finnick.

 **3 MONTHS LATER**

It's been 3 months, and Nick hadn't gotten any better. In fact, it seemed each day he got worse. Nick's scams seemed to worsen each day, and they were barely getting any money to survive. Knowing that he was unable to pull his weight anymore, Nick gave Finnick the duty of coming up with the scams. He offered to split it 20-80 instead of 50-50, but Finnick refused. They were still equal partners in his eyes.

With Finnick running the show, they were successful enough to allow a decent stream of money to come into their pockets, but it was nowhere near the amount they got before. Every time they finished a scam, Nick would go to his spot by the bridge and stay there for hours, coming home late at night. Finnick tried everything to bring him out of this funk, from alcohol, Nutflix to bugburgers, but nothing seemed to work.

One day, Finnick sat at the back of his van, listening to his tunes. Nick's sour attitude made him feel helpless that he could do nothing to help Nick. It was painful to face that he alone, wasn't enough to help Nick. He wasn't going to give up yet though. While wondering what he should do next, he heard some loud knocking against the back of the van.

 _It definitely wasn't Nick, who the fuck would be knocking on my van?_

He grabbed his baseball bat.

He slammed open the door, brandishing his bat.

"Who is it!?" he yelled.

He looked down, and to his surprise it was Judy.

"Please I need to find Nick." Judy asked desperately.

His eyebrows furrowed, he scowled at the bunny. He was about the slam the door on her when she reached her paw out to block the door.

"Please! I need to know where's Nick!"

"And why the fuck would I tell you that?"

"I know that I hurt him, and I probably hurt you too, but ple-"

"No, you don't fucking know," he said.

"You don't fucking know!" he repeated in a loud, harsh tone.

The usual, defiant Judy cowered a little, her head hanging down in shame. She knew she was in the wrong and felt like she deserved this.

"Nick has been a miserable fuckhead ever since he met you! You fucking sapped all the life he ever had and he's now a fucking zombie! He walks around with no purpose and he hasn't cracked a smile in the past two months! And it's not just Nick! You ruined the city for us! You know how many more stares, how many more nasty comments, and how many more shoves that we get now! You know how many times I've been stopped on the street because they thought I was flaring my fucking teeth at someone or just giving someone a funny look? You don't fucking understand what a hell our lives have become okay? So don't fucking tell me that you know because you don't!"

Judy shakily said, "Okay, I know...sorry, but hear me out. I know that I'll truly never understand what you, and all the other predators have to go through now. And I know saying sorry isn't going to help. I know saying that we need to have a conversation about this isn't going to do much for the predators. That's why I have to fix this. I have to take action, and show the city what is really causing predators to become savage. It's not their biology. It's these plants, nighthowlers. So I have to find out who's causing all these predators to have nighthowlers in their system. And I need Nick's help."

Finnick listened intently as Judy made her little speech. His impression? She was truly sorry, a bold (and a little crazy) bunny, and was more aware that she actually thought she was. But he had one question.

"If you know this, why are asking Nick? Why didn't you go to the ZPD?"

Judy blushed a little, and that's all Finnick needed to know.

"You're in love with him. You didn't even think about going to the ZPD did you? You only thought about Nick and how with just the two of you, you can take on anything."

"Heh... I guess you're right. How did you know?"

 _Because that's how I feel with Nick._

"Because I know mammals. That's how I'm so good at my job."

"Yeah, so is Nick...So are you going to tell me how I can find him?"

Finnick crossed his arms. He immediately saw her as a competitor for Nick's heart. It was him against her, to win Nick's love. He toyed with the idea of telling her the completely wrong location. However, he could feel his back slumping when he realized, the competition was already over. He lost. Judy won Nick's heart. That's why he has been miserable. Because his true love had betrayed him, and that is one of the most painful things a heart has to go through. How he knows? Because he is feeling it now.

He hated her, he hated her for ruining his life like this. For stealing Nick from him. However, he wasn't petty. He loved Nick, and it's not fair for him to stay miserable, plus he knew this situation was bigger than his broken heart.

He said, while trying to hide all the hurt in his voice, "Here let me show you on your phone where Nick is."

Judy handed him her phone, and he typed the address on to Zoogle Maps.

"Here," he said as he handed back the phone.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" Judy said almost maniacally.

She wrapped her arms around him into a tight hug, with Finnick clearly uncomfortable with this emotional physical contact.

She then ran to her truck, presumably to find Nick as quickly as possible.

Finnick then closed the doors to the back of van, proceeded to grab a pillow, and cry silently into it.

* * *

 **PRESENT**

The pain in his arm subsided enough for him to start driving. He walked to the driver's side of the car and got into the car. As he sat down, mentally preparing himself for this long trip, snapshots of the events after he met Judy at the van popped in his mind.

Nick got another application to be a police officer. He applied right away. Nick started spending less and less time with Finnick and presumably more and more time with Judy. There were days when Nick would never show up, leaving Finnick to do the scams by himself. Finnick was crafty enough to get money to do scams on his own, but...it just wasn't the same without Nick. It just felt like a job.

Eventually Nick just stopped showing up and the only time he talked to Nick was through texting. One day he found out Nick was in the police academy, and didn't even bother to see Finnick before he left. That was the last straw.

He chuckled to himself as tears started to form in his eyes.

"Ahhh Nick you fucking asshole," Finnick said wiping his tears with his paw.

Nick never cared about him. He was a hustler, he hustled everyone, even him. Nick got to him and now he was still in love with Nick. Nick knew this and took advantage of that so he could use him for the scams he had always dreamed of doing. And Finnick was willing to go along for the ride because it meant he could be with him. When Nick found something better, he dumped Finnick like he was trash. That was the undeniable truth.

With that in mind, he knew he had to just get away. Away from Zootopia. He couldn't face Nick anymore. And with no Nick, there's nothing left for him in Zootopia anymore. He had to go start a new life somewhere else, probably at Zootropolis. There he could become his own fox. He had spent his entire life being devoted to someone, whether it be Mr. Big or Nick, just to be betrayed by them. He will forge his own path in Zootropolis, with nobody to burden him. Feeling ready, he switched the gears to drive, and left the gas station.

As he drove, another memory appeared in his mind. He wasn't quite sure why this particular one. Perhaps there was still a small part of him that believes Nick still truly cares about him.

* * *

 **1 DAY BEFORE THEY MET JUDY**

Nick was sitting on their bed, brainstorming about their new scam, while Finnick was lazily lying down and gazing at the roof of the van.

"This scam with the pawpsicle and you wanting to be an elephant is almost there, a nearly perfect scam! It's just... missing one thing," Nick said. Nick rubbed his chin, trying to come up with a solution.

"What is it missing?" Finnick asked.

"I just don't know where we're going to get enough juice to make a shit ton of pawpsicles at a cheap price."

"Why don't we just go to an elephant ice cream bar? We can just buy one of their giant jumbo pops or get someone to buy it for us. Then that's more than enough to make a shit ton of pawpsicles and profit."

Nick faced Finnick, his muzzle agape, "Finnick...you're a fucking genius. I now declare our plan, perfect. All thanks to you Finnick."

Finnick looked away, secretly blushing, "Ahhh shut up, don't patronize me."

Nick responded by resting his left paw on Finnick's shoulder, making him turn around surprise.

He gave Finnick a genuine smile and said, "You know, I don't know if I say this enough, but I'm really glad that you're my partner in crime. Let's face it, we're both in a really shitty situation and we both had a pretty shitty past. But you know what? It's okay because I got you. I know with you by my side, nothing can stop us. And that's more than a fox could ever ask for."

Nick shied away, looking down to the ground.

Finnick was speechless. He didn't expect this amount of gratitude to come out of Nick. He wasn't quite sure how to react.

 _Just tell him Finnick. Just tell him how you feel. You love him. He needs to know. This is the best time to do it. Just do it._

Finnick considered that option, and thought it made sense. If Nick truly felt this way about him, he's never going to lose 'll always be friends, or family even, no matter what. There should be no harm in telling him.

"Wow Nick... thanks," Finnick said, "Hey I wanted to tell you something too."

Nick looked up, "Yeah?"

Finnick could feel his heart beating rapidly and his paws sweating.

 _Abort! Abort! Abort! Don't do it!_

Finnick lightly punched Nick in the arm, "Just wanted to say that was a pretty cheesy speech you had there.

Nick smirked, "Heh, shut up dude."

Finnick gave him a smirk back.

 _Damn._

 **Author's Note:** I'm already planning a sequel for this story!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that my sequel to Away is up! It's called Finding You and you can find it by clicking on my username and looking through my works! I'm really happy with the sequel so far and I hope you guys like it!


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